TIN #119 - This One Change Will Make Any Introvert A Fearless Networker
Why Networking Is Easier When You Focus on Giving
Hello, Introverted Networkers!
This week, I want to talk about one mindset shift that can transform your approach to networking and make it feel effortless.
Whether you're a pro or a bit hesitant, adjusting how you view networking can make a huge difference.
Let's break it down.
This issue takes about 4 minutes to read…
Before We Get Started:
My online course, “5 Steps To Grow Your Professional Network,” is FREE for all my newsletter subscribers. Learn the process I use everyday to grow my professional network.
Each week, I post a new podcast with tips you’ll find in the weekly newsletter and bonus stories, wisdom, and motivation. The Introverted Networker podcast is like the weekly newsletter but with additional narration and thoughts from me. Be sure to listen to this week’s podcast and check out the previous episodes of the podcast on Spotify and Apple Podcasts for more networking tips and insights.
All the video clips in this issue are from the video version of the podcast which is available on my YouTube channel. Check out the full video for my in-depth explanation of this topic.
Mindset Matters: Make The Shift to a Giving Mindset
Networking can feel awkward for a lot of us, especially if we’re introverted.
We often worry about coming across as needy or transactional.
But here’s the truth: if we shift our mindset to giving, we can make networking a lot more enjoyable and meaningful.
A “giving mindset” means helping others without the expectation of anything in return.
Think about it: most people dread networking because they think it’s all about exchanging favors or “I’ll scratch your back, you scratch mine.”
This old-school approach feels inauthentic.
Instead, aim to give with no strings attached—it’s about offering value, not collecting favors.
What the Giving Mindset Is Not
First, let’s clear up a misconception.
Networking doesn’t have to feel like a country club exchange of favors.
Many of us picture networking as a space where people only help each other to get something in return—think business deals on the golf course.
But that’s not what it’s about.
Networking in the modern world is simply connecting with others to create mutually beneficial relationships.
So if you’re going into a conversation thinking,
“What can this person do for me?”
Pause for a moment. Instead, ask yourself,
“What can I do for this person?”
What the Giving Mindset Is
Adopting a giving mindset means you’re helping for the joy of it.
Sure, you want to expand your network, find opportunities, and maybe get career advice—but those are outcomes, not the purpose.
When you focus on giving, you’ll build stronger, more genuine connections.
Here’s what you’ll get out of it:
Immediate Gratification: Helping someone feels good. When you give freely, you get the satisfaction of knowing you’ve made an impact.
Long-Term Reciprocity: Most people naturally want to give back. When you’ve been generous, your network will be more inclined to support you down the line.
How to Embrace the Giving Mindset
Now that we understand the giving mindset, here’s how to put it into action.
Try these three practical tips:
1. Give Without Expecting Anything in Return
Focus on offering help because it feels good, not because you expect something.
When you’re genuinely helpful, people notice, and often they’ll reciprocate eventually.
Think of it like “networking karma.”
2. Keep It Small and Simple
Don’t overthink giving.
You don’t need grand gestures to be a valuable connection.
Small acts like sharing an article, recommending a book, or sending a podcast link can have a lasting impact.
If you need more ideas of what to give, I got you covered in TIN #004 - How To Make Networking Feel Good
Small, frequent contributions build stronger connections over time.
3. Be an Easy Recipient
If someone wants to return the favor, make it easy for them.
Have a clear answer if they ask, “How can I help you?”
Don’t make it hard by saying, “Oh, I don’t know.”
Instead, think of a specific introduction or advice they could offer.
Being gracious and clear makes it simple for others to help you—and they’ll walk away feeling good about it.
Bonus: Set Expectations for Future Help
Sometimes, people will want to repay you right away, even if you don’t have an immediate need.
When that happens, try this response from Dr. Robert Cialdini:
“Thanks, I was happy to help! I’m sure when I’m in a similar spot, you’ll be willing to do the same.”
This subtly keeps the door open for future support without pressuring them.
Wrap-Up: Try It Out
This week, focus on shifting to a giving mindset.
Aim to give without expecting anything back, keep your contributions simple, and be gracious when people want to reciprocate.
When you embrace giving, you’ll be amazed at how much easier—and enjoyable—networking can feel.
Let me know how it goes!
Connect with me on LinkedIn, reply to this newsletter, or reach out on any of my channels.
I’m here to help you become a better networker.
Remember: Always Be Connecting.
Before You Go…
Mike Marcellus, The Strategic Networker, is the reason many of you are here, but for those of you who don’t know him, he shared an awesome issue this week on the difference between Transactional and Transformative networking. Check it out!