TIN #108 - How You Say "Hello" May Be The Key to Successful Networking
Top Tips for Improving Your Networking Conversations
Hello, fellow introverts and networkers!
I found a thought-provoking article by James Buckhouse titled "How to Say Hello."
This piece resonated with me because it touches on something fundamental yet often overlooked in networking—the way we greet others.
It got me thinking about how first impressions can shape our interactions and relationships, both in our personal and professional lives.
This issue takes about 4 minutes to read…
Before We Get Started:
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First Impressions: Why They Matter
James highlights the importance of first impressions, noting that people form an opinion of you within the first few seconds of meeting:
“We decide if we like something somewhere between 1/10th of a second and 7 seconds (Janine Willis and Alexander Todorov, 2006). First impressions have been shown to last for months (Gunaydin, Selcuk, & Zayas, 2017) and can sway one’s point of view even in the presence of contradictory evidence (e.g., Rydell & McConnell, 2006), and even when you can’t recall why (McCarthy & Skowronski, 2011; Todorov & Uleman, 2002). This is why it matters that you learn how to say hello.”
Whether it's fair or not, this initial impression can significantly influence how someone perceives you going forward.
The science behind this suggests that a first impression sticks with you, impacting the entire course of your relationship with that person.
James provides practical tips on how to make a positive first impression when saying hello.
He emphasizes the importance of voice tone, posture, and facial expressions.
A relaxed and confident demeanor can set the stage for a more meaningful and engaging conversation.
This advice is particularly valuable in group settings, events, or when meeting someone for the first time in a professional context.
Saying “Hello” in Networking: Moving Beyond the Basics
Returning to James's article, after that initial "hello," what comes next?
This is where the real work begins in networking.
James encourages us to uncover something interesting about everyone we meet:
“You can uncover something interesting about nearly anyone if you converse with curiosity instead of apathy, greed, mistrust, or resignation. And if you don’t happen to uncover something fascinating about the other person—see this as your fault, not theirs. Why? If you blame others for poor conversations you surrender control and condemn yourself to a lifetime of many miserable, meaningless chats. But, if you take responsibility for building an interesting conversation, you’ll learn to adjust what you’re doing so that people will want to have positive interactions with you.”
This isn't about talking about yourself—it's about being genuinely curious and asking questions that reveal more about the other person.
One of the most challenging parts of networking is answering the question, "What do you do?"
I covered this in TIN #044 - How to Create an Engaging Introduction that Leaves a Lasting Impression. It’s based on Clay Hebert’s TEDx talk on how to answer this question.
Instead of giving the standard job title response, James suggests sharing an "I believe" statement.
For example, instead of saying, "I teach introverts to be better networkers," I might say, "I believe in the power of mutually beneficial connections and dedicate myself to helping people create those."
James explains why this works:
“A statement of belief will start more interesting conversations than your job title. If the person doesn’t immediately ask a question in return, you can ask them what they believe. Compare this to the usual path: if you open with your job title or rank, this sets up a confrontational hierarchy. And if you introduce yourself with something vague, like “finance” or “tech” or “science” or “art” this sends a signal that you don’t really want to talk about it. Open with an idea, and the conversation is already interesting before it begins. We crave interestingness over almost all else.”
This approach can lead to deeper, more meaningful conversations, breaking down barriers and fostering stronger connections.
Take Action: Try Something New This Week
This week, I encourage you to put this advice into practice.
Think about how you say hello, whether it’s at work, at an event, or even in casual settings.
Be mindful of your first and last impressions.
Most importantly, focus on creating genuine connections with others.
Let me know how it goes—I’m eager to hear about your experiences!
Closing Thoughts
As always, I'm here to help you navigate the world of networking, whether you're an introvert, extrovert, or somewhere in between.
If this newsletter helped you, share it with someone you know.
Let’s keep the conversation going and continue growing our networks—one meaningful hello at a time.
Have a great week, and always be connecting!
Before You Go…
Ellie Hoekman’s LinkedIn post on trust in networking caught my eye because of the topic and the way she suggests using video to help establish trust with new people.