TIN #044 - How to Create an Engaging Introduction that Leaves a Lasting Impression
Craft Your Perfect Introduction to Spark Engaging Conversations
Happy Saturday.
I hope you’re having a great weekend, so far.
For a lot of people in the US, this is a long weekend.
Be sure to take some time Monday to reflect on the meaning of Memorial Day.
Onto this week’s issue which takes about 3 minutes to read (you’ll need more time to watch the video, but I promise it’s worth it).
Networking requires conversations.
I teach people to connect online, but to grow relationships in real life.
Sometimes these are 1:1 coffee or lunch meetings.
Sometimes they are random conversations at events or conferences.
At some point, someone you meet will ask you the dreaded question:
"What do you do?"
I've always struggled with this question.
The default answer is to tell them what you do as your job.
I work in Compensation. I figure out how much to pay everyone at my company. But when I say that, I usually get a blank stare.
Most people don't understand what I do, including most of my family.
I've tried to make it more generic by saying, "I work in Human Resources," but that's even worse. “HR” is a conversation killer.
The Perfect Intro
Last week, I stumbled on a Ted talk that helped me create a better answer for "What do you do?"
Clay Hebert's talk at TedX Reno explains how to create your perfect answer to this question.
I hope you watch the whole talk, but here are some of the key moments to help us create the perfect intro:
At 5:40 in the video he gives us the formula:
"I help [people] [achieve a result.]"
The idea is to define who you help, and then tell what you help those people do.
For me, I would say, "I help introverts."
The way I help them is to make them better networkers.
So, my intro would be: "I help introverts become better networkers."
But as Clay explains at 8:00, I need to adjust the word "help" to something else.
Networking is something I teach, so I'll change my intro to, "I teach introverts how to become better networkers."
Why did I focus my intro on the things I talk about in newsletter and on LinkedIn instead of my job in Compensation?
To me, it's what I’m most curious and passionate about. I can talk to anyone about networking for hours.
I like my day job. I'm not planning to leave it any time soon. But, I'm not sure I could talk to anyone about it for hours, unless the other person was also in Compensation.
I could use this formula for my day job and say something like, "I guide managers who need to make decisions about how much to pay their employees."
Of course, I could spend time improving this, but for now, I'll stick with my intro for my focus on networking for introverts.
Anyone who has spent time refining their LinkedIn headline will notice the intro formula mirrors the advice people give to improve online presence.
Which makes sense, right?
Online, you're trying to capture attention with your headline so people will continue reading your profile.
It's the same for in-person conversations.
You're trying to capture attention in your initial conversation with another person.
It makes sense you would use the same structure.
And if you are still trying to think of the perfect LinkedIn headline, this is the formula you need to use.
Spend some time this week thinking about how you would define who you help and what results you give them.
What Now?
The perfect, one line intro is not the only golden nugget in Clay's talk.
At 11:00, Clay explains one of the most important parts of the conversation is what comes after your perfect one line opener.
After you explain who you help and how you help them, the other person will say something like, "That's interesting. How do you do that?"
Your answer is:
"Let me tell you a story."
You get to tell a story about someone you helped.
It’s more interesting to talk about other people and you get to prove your statement in your intro is true.
For me, that story would be about Maria who I helped land a new job with my approach to networking.
I told this story in my book and in TIN #012 - Make People Re-Connect With You.
The story explains my approach and the results Maria got using it.
It's a great way for me to explain what I do to people who don’t know me, yet.
Another option
There is another approach you can use in networking conversations:
Be the first to ask the other person what they do.
Doing this allows the other person to talk about themselves.
Listening to them allows you to find parts of their story you can ask more questions about.
It also allows you to think of ways you can help people.
No matter who starts talking about themselves first, you should aim to do two things in these networking conversations:
Ask the other person about themselves and listen
Give your perfect intro.
These can happen in a different order each time you have a conversation.
Your goal is to use the perfect intro formula explained in Clay's talk and to ask the other person about themselves and listen for ways to help them.
Doing these two things will make you one of the world’s best conversationalists.
Summary
Conversations with new people can be uncomfortable.
For introverts, we tend to shy away from them because it's not something we have practiced very often.
But, if you make a plan and prepare for these conversations, you can make them more productive.
Who know, you may actually have fun with them!
What's your perfect intro? I'd love to see it in the comments.