TIN #008 - Why You Don't Network (And How To Stop Making Excuses)

The reason you don't network and what to do about it

Morning 👋 - Greg here.

Happy Saturday morning to everyone who is building a networking habit this week.

Today’s issue takes less than 4 minutes to read.

The Ant and The Grasshopper

In a field one summer's day, a Grasshopper was hopping about, chirping and singing to its heart's content. An Ant passed by, bearing along with great toil an ear of corn he was taking to the nest.

"Why not come and chat with me," said the Grasshopper, "instead of toiling and moiling in that way?"

"I am helping to lay up food for the winter," said the Ant, "and recommend you to do the same."

"Why bother about winter?" said the Grasshopper. “We have got plenty of food at present." But the Ant went on its way and continued its toil. When the winter came the Grasshopper had no food and found itself dying of hunger, while it saw the ants distributing every day corn and grain from the stores they had collected in the summer.

Then the Grasshopper knew:

It is best to prepare for the days of necessity.

“I’ll Do It Later”

There are certain things in life I call "Laters."

Things we should do now, but tell ourselves we'll do them later.

• Starting an exercise routine

• Writing a will

• Networking

If I asked 100 people if they "should" do these things, 99 would say yes (there's always one).

No one argues networking is a bad thing.

No one says it's something you shouldn't do.

But most people don't do it.

Why?

Like the Ant, it’s easier to focus on now than the future, even though we all know that if we don’t do these things now, the future will be harder for us.

And yet, we still put off the things we “should” be doing right now.

Excuses are everywhere

I've been showing people how to grow their networks for several years.

I've coached people one on one, in groups, on webinars, in live presentations, and even wrote a book about it called, "The Fast and Easy Guide To Networking for Introverts."

When I ask people why they aren't networking, the same excuses come up:

• I don't know what I'm doing

• I don't know anyone

• I don't have time

• It feels awkward

There is a misconception about networking

Most of what you've been taught about it is wrong.

If you search the internet for networking tips, you'll get advice about:

• Picking the right networking event

• Practicing your elevator speech

• Getting a networking buddy

All of this advice assumes you are going to go to a networking event with a room full of strangers to make bullshit small talk that doesn't get you any closer to a professional connection.

If you're an introvert like me, this advice is especially useless.

After reading it, you'll come up with one of the excuses above.

The good news is you don't need to search the internet for networking advice to get past your excuses.

The previous issues of The Introverted Networker address all of the excuses.

• I don't know what I'm doing - Follow the steps in TIN issues #001 - #007. Each one gives you one step in the process to grow your network.

• I don't know anyone - Start with who you already know. This was in TIN #001.

• I don't have time - Make networking a habit. I explained this in TIN #007.

• It feels awkward - Give first and you'll get past this. See TIN #004.

There are times when people follow these steps and aren't getting the results they were expecting.

These are some of the messages I receive from people who have followed the process.

"I reached out to a bunch of people and no one responded."

• Who did you reach out to? Dormant ties or strangers?

• What did you say when you contacted them? Was it focused on opening up a conversation or did you ask them for something right out of the gate?

• How long has it been since you contacted them? People are busy. They may still respond. You need to keep connecting with more people because there is often a delay in people sending a response.

"I'm targeting one company how can I meet people there?"

• This will be tough. You are limiting your options by having only one company on your TCL.

• Are there companies like your target company where you have connections?

• Where do people who worked at your target company in the past go to work when they leave that company? Can you connect with them?

"I can't connect with people I worked with at past companies."

• Have you tried?

• What happened at that company that limits you connecting with new people?

• Are you hard to work with?

If you are struggling to network, you’re in the right place.

But I need to know where you need help.

What Excuses Are Holding You Back?

Simple does not equal Easy

Networking is Simple.

Networking is not Easy.

That’s why we make excuses.

That’s why it turns into a “Later.”

If you’re a grasshopper, you’ll focus on today and tell yourself there will always be more time to network.

If you’re an Ant, you’ll look at what’s not working and keep trying.

Little by little, your efforts will be rewarded.

What about you?

What has worked for you and what hasn't worked?

Send me an email or comment below to tell me what you need help with.

That’s why I’m here!