Stop Asking for a Job. Ask for This Instead
The Simple Networking Shift That Opened New Doors for Chris
Welcome to issue #158 of The Introverted Networker. Each week, I share my best networking advice to change the way you feel about networking. If you like this issue, share it with a friend.
This issue takes about 5 minutes to read…
Photo by Kenny Eliason on Unsplash
A few weeks ago, I got a message on LinkedIn from someone I’d never met.
His name was Chris.
Chris had seen some of my posts about networking and sent me a simple note:
“If you happen to know anyone looking for an analyst who may be a bit introverted at first but thrives when it comes to niche processes, flows, or integrations, I’d love to connect. I'm always open to building a thoughtful and meaningful network.”
When I get a message like this, I use the Minimum Viable Favor (MVF) approach I talked about in The Networking Trap No One Warns You About.
It let’s me know if the person sending me the message wants to do the work or not.
I told him to send me his Target Company List (TCL).
When I ask for someone’s TCL, nine out of ten times I never hear from them again.
But, Chris sent me his list right away.
I could tell he was serious about learning how to network.
So, I asked him to jump on a call.
That’s when I learned what Chris had been doing to become a more confident networker.
Confidence Comes From Action
Chris told me he’s introverted. I get it. So am I.
Being introverted doesn’t mean you don’t like people. It just means you prefer connecting in a way that feels comfortable and controlled.
For me, that’s one-on-one conversations.
It’s helping someone make progress.
It’s connecting two people who can help each other.
The more you do that, the more confident you become.
You stop seeing networking as a chore and start seeing it as something that makes your work, and your life, better.
What’s Chris Doing In His Job Search?
Chris is looking for a programming role in healthcare, aerospace, or the mortgage industry.
He’s not just randomly applying to jobs.
He’s focused.
He’s got a target company list.
He’s reaching out to recruiters. And he’s following up.
After I told him to create the TCL, he saw me post about the value of that list later, he thought:
“This is why Greg had me make it in the first place. I’m on the right track.”
When I told him to send me his TCL, he didn’t really understand the value of it at first, but he took my advice, gave it a shot, and soon realized how valuable it could be.
The Recruiter Lesson
One of my favorite moments from our conversation was when Chris told me about reaching out to a recruiter.
Instead of asking the recruiter to help him “find him a job,” he asked for something much more valuable:
Advice
That single decision changed the whole tone of the interaction.
The recruiter shared insights about the job market in Chris’s target industries, suggested specific skills to highlight, and even gave him a fresh perspective that shifted the focus of his search.
Chris didn’t just nod and thank him.
He took the advice, acted on it, and adjusted his approach.
That’s the key:
Ask for advice, not a job.
Then follow the advice you’re given.
People are far more willing to help when they feel you’re genuinely seeking their perspective, and they notice when you put their suggestions into practice.
You can watch the whole conversation with Chris on my YouTube channel or listen to it on this week’s podcast.
Here’s the Point
If you take the advice, put it into action, and stay open to people helping you, you will become a more confident networker.
Chris is proof.
He reached out, asked for help, tried the ideas, and now he’s building momentum.
You can do the same.
Your Next Step
If you want help doing what Chris did, and you want someone in your corner to guide you through it, I’ve just opened The Connection Lab Community.
It’s where I work directly with people to help them grow their networks in a way that feels natural, not forced.
You’ll get one-on-one time with me, small group sessions, and practical steps you can use immediately.
If you’re ready to start building your own personal, professional community, and become a more confident networker in the process, join us.
👉 Join The Connection Lab Community
Best Things I Found Online This Week:
Sean Fitzpatrick and I had a great conversation on The Voice Activated Podcast about the power of internal networking for employees and employers
Bob Burg shared the concept of “Receptivity,” which is simply about being open to receive that which comes your way. Especially relevant to this week’s newsletter
Daniel Pink encourages us to give without keeping score just don’t forget to protect your time
Amazing post! In fundraising they say, “Ask for money and you’ll get advice. Ask for advice and you’ll often get money.” Asking for a job leads to a quick no most of the time. Asking for advice is an invitation to open a relationship, not a one-time transaction.