Why You’re Avoiding Networking (And How to Fix It in 15 Minutes)
Shrink the scale. Set a timer. Restart the rhythm.
Welcome to issue #184 of The Introverted Networker. Every Tuesday, I teach you to be a better networker. My favorite part of the week is hearing from my readers, so leave a comment or ask a question, if you are so inclined.
You Don’t Need a Networking Plan. You Need 15 Minutes.
When I get busy with work or life, networking is the first habit that slips.
And I feel it.
Nothing dramatic happens.
But something quiet does.
I start to feel a little disconnected.
A little behind.
A little out of rhythm.
It’s subtle.
But it’s real.
And this is how I break out of my networking slumps
This issue takes about 3 minutes to read…
How I Get Myself Started
I use the 15-minute rule for a lot of things.
Working out.
Writing this newsletter.
Client work.
Whenever I don’t feel like starting, I tell myself:
“You only have to do this for 15 minutes.”
That’s it.
I set a timer for 15 minutes.
I start it, and I work until it goes off.
Most of the time, once I start working, I keep going even after the time expires.
But even when I don’t, I still make progress.
The key is not motivation.
It’s containment.
Fifteen minutes has an end.
Big, open-ended tasks don’t.
Why We Avoid Networking
Networking feels big.
It feels strategic.
Important.
Like you should “do it right.”
When there’s no clear start.
There’s no clear finish.
So your brain says, “Not now.”
It says, “I’m too busy. I have other things to do.”
That’s the psychology of avoidance.
When something feels infinite, you resist it.
The problem isn’t networking.
The problem is scale.
Shrink It
You don’t need a networking strategy session.
You need a container.
Set the timer.
Fifteen minutes.
When it rings, you’re done.
You’re not trying to create opportunity.
You’re not trying to be impressive.
You’re restarting motion inside The Connection Loop.
That’s it.
The 15-Minute Connection Loop Restart
When I haven’t been connecting regularly and want to get started, here’s what I actually do. I:
Open LinkedIn messages and scroll.
Open my email and search the name of a former colleague.
Scroll old text threads.
And ask one simple question:
Who have I meant to reconnect with?
Then I pick one person.
Maybe two.
And I send something simple:
“It’s been a while. How have you been?”
No long update.
No ask.
No pressure.
This is Step 1 and Step 2 of The Connection Loop.
Find someone you already know.
Re-start the conversation.
You’re not pushing the whole wheel.
You’re just getting it started again.
What Happens Next
The 15 minutes is not the relationship.
It’s the ignition.
Once you send the message, people respond.
Conversations start.
Coffee gets scheduled.
Calls happen.
Those take more than 15 minutes.
But they don’t require force.
They unfold naturally as The Connection Loop starts turning again.
Listen.
Give.
Be easy to help.
Stay in rhythm.
But none of that starts without the beginning motion.
Small Starts Grow
One message a week is 52 touches a year.
Some people send more.
Most people send none.
You don’t need intensity.
You need consistency.
When I fall out of this habit, I feel the drift.
When I restart it, even with one small message, I feel the momentum come back.
That’s the power of small.
Try This This Week
Set a timer.
Fifteen minutes.
Open your messages.
Send one note.
That’s it.
You don’t need a plan.
You just need to start the The Connection Loop again.
Small motion.
Repeat it next week.
Watch what grows.
Leave me a comment or respond to this email to let me know how it goes!
Best Things I Found Online This Week:
David Hannan shared a step by step guide to connecting with recruiters.
This past week I was a guest on Diana Alt’s podcast. Episode will be up later this year, but in the meantime, check out this episode about Why Working Hard Isn’t Enough to Get Promoted.