TIN #139 - What Is A Swedish Fika? Hint: A Refreshing Take on Stress-Free Networking
And Why Talking About Yourself Feels So Good (Science Explains)
Networking often conjures up images of stiff conversations, awkward introductions, and that sinking feeling of not knowing what to say.
But what if there were a way to make it feel natural, enjoyable, and productive?
Enter the Swedish concept of "Fika"—a delightful approach to connecting with others that strips away the pressure and focuses on authentic, agenda-free conversations.
Let’s explore how this tradition can transform the way you network, whether you’re an introvert or just looking to simplify the process.
This issue takes about 5 minutes to read…
Before We Get Started:
My online course, “5 Steps To Grow Your Professional Network,” is FREE for all my newsletter subscribers. Learn the process I use everyday to grow my professional network.
Each week, I post a new podcast with tips you’ll find in the weekly newsletter and bonus stories, wisdom, and motivation. The Introverted Networker podcast is like the weekly newsletter but with additional narration and thoughts from me. Be sure to listen to this week’s podcast and check out the previous episodes of the podcast on Spotify and Apple Podcasts for more networking tips and insights.
The video version of the podcast is available on my YouTube channel.
What Is Swedish Fika?
“Fika” is a Swedish term that refers to an informal, networking coffee meeting—a relaxed, no-pressure gathering where two people come together to talk about who they are and what they do.
Unlike the transactional vibe that often accompanies traditional networking, fika emphasizes genuine connection.
It’s not about pitching or selling; it’s about sharing and learning from one another.
I discovered fika during a virtual conversation with Shaena Harrison, the founder of a unique service called Tjena (informal greeting in Swedish that means “hello”) that allows people to hire professional “wing people” for conferences.
Shaena’s use of the term “fika” in her meeting invitation highlighted the value of approaching networking as a simple conversation—no strings attached, just getting to know someone over coffee, even virtually.
Hiring a Wing Person: A Game-Changer for Introverts
If the idea of walking into a conference full of strangers feels overwhelming, Shaena’s business might be your solution.
Her company provides professional wing people—outgoing, extroverted individuals who attend events with you, initiate conversations, and introduce you to others.
Think of it as outsourcing the hardest part of networking while still being present to build those connections.
I admit I’d benefit from this service as someone who struggles to start conversations in large gatherings.
The concept of a wing person is a reminder that networking doesn’t have to be a solo endeavor.
If you need help breaking the ice and making connections, there’s no shame in seeking support.
Why Talking About Yourself Is Easier Than You Think
Back to my fika with Shaena.
While we were talking, I felt at ease talking about myself and then hearing Shaena talk about herself and what she does.
There was no anxiety in the conversation.
Because we were just sitting there talking about ourselves.
No pitching or scripted questions and answers.
One of the biggest anxieties people face when networking is, “What do I say?”
My advice:
Don’t overthink it.
Instead, focus on being curious about the other person.
Ask questions about their work, passions, or challenges.
Remember, everyone’s favorite topic is the one they know best—themselves.
It turns out, discussing personal experiences or interests activates the brain’s reward centers, making us feel good.
Researchers from the Harvard University Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience Lab utilized functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) to scan study participants' brain activity while they were talking about different topics.
What they found is certain areas of the brain "lit" up when participants talked about themselves.
Surprisingly, the area associated with dopamine release, which drives our motivation, lit up the most when people talked about themselves to other people.
Use this to your advantage in networking by asking other people to talk about themselves.
It will help you manage the conversation and make the other person feel like you’re their favorite person to talk to.
Key Tips for Meaningful Networking
Networking doesn’t have to be complicated. By reframing your approach, you can make it enjoyable and purposeful.
Here are the key takeaways:
Think of networking as a fika: Approach conversations with no agenda or pressure. Just focus on getting to know the other person.
Ask about their favorite topic: People love talking about themselves. Be curious and ask meaningful questions to learn more about them.
Relax and be yourself: Don’t feel the need to script conversations. Authenticity always wins.
Don’t limit networking to your city: Virtual coffee chats can be just as effective as in-person meetings, allowing you to connect with people worldwide.
Final Thoughts: Try a Fika This Week
If the traditional concept of networking feels daunting, take inspiration from fika.
Schedule a virtual or in-person coffee chat with someone you’d like to connect with.
Approach the conversation with curiosity, ask about their journey, and share a bit about yourself.
You might be surprised by how enjoyable and impactful it can be to form authentic relationships.
So, what are you waiting for?
Try fika this week and embrace a more relaxed approach to networking.
And if you’re curious about Shaena Harrison’s innovative wing person service, be sure to check it out—it might just be the support you need to thrive at your next event!
Things I Found Online This Week:
Check out this gem from Tim Toterhi:
I would have been really helpful if you'd included a link to Shaena Harrison - the idea is fascinating!