TIN #126 - From Sleazy to Genuine: Redefining What Networking Means
How to Turn Networking Into Something You Actually Enjoy
Hey there introverts!
Do you cringe at the word “networking”?
You’re not alone.
For many, it feels awkward, transactional, and insincere.
But what if we’ve been thinking about it all wrong?
In this issue of The Introverted Networker, I explore:
The surprising history of networking,
Why it has such a bad reputation, and
How we can reclaim it as something meaningful and human
This issue takes about 5 minutes to read…
Before We Get Started:
My online course, “5 Steps To Grow Your Professional Network,” is FREE for all my newsletter subscribers. Learn the process I use everyday to grow my professional network.
Each week, I post a new podcast with tips you’ll find in the weekly newsletter and bonus stories, wisdom, and motivation. The Introverted Networker podcast is like the weekly newsletter but with additional narration and thoughts from me. Be sure to listen to this week’s podcast and check out the previous episodes of the podcast on Spotify and Apple Podcasts for more networking tips and insights.
The video version of the podcast is available on my YouTube channel.
Reframing Networking: From Awkward to Authentic
Just hearing the word “networking” might make you think of awkward conversations at crowded events, passing out business cards, or the dreaded feeling of being stuck in a “sales pitch.”
For many people, the word “networking” brings up images of quid pro quo interactions: “you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours.”
It’s transactional, it’s uncomfortable, and for a lot of us—it feels insincere.
But what if I told you that’s not what networking is supposed to be?
What if we could change the way we think about it—and even the way we talk about it?
Today, I want to take you on a journey to reframe the word “networking” and reclaim it as something meaningful, human, and yes… even enjoyable.
We’re going to explore where the word came from, why it got such a bad rap, and how we can redefine it for the better.
The History of "Networking"
To understand why networking feels so slimy to so many of us, we first need to dig into its history.
The word “network” has been around for centuries, and its origins are surprisingly… physical.
Back in the 16th century, the term “network” originally described a literal object—a net made of threads, like a fishing net or a woven fabric.
It was all about the interconnections, the interlacing of threads into something strong and cohesive.
Fast forward to the 19th century, and “network” takes on a broader meaning.
People started using it to describe systems of interconnected things—railways, telegraph lines, even the veins in a leaf.
By the 20th century, it became a metaphor for systems of people and organizations.
And that’s where it started to shift into what we think of today as professional “networking.”
But here’s the thing: The original meaning of “network” was all about connection—building something that’s interconnected and supportive.
Somewhere along the way, that got lost.
Why Networking Feels Gross
How did “networking”—something rooted in connection—end up feeling like a transactional nightmare?
Part of the problem is how networking has been framed, especially in the professional world.
We’re often told that networking is about getting ahead—it’s about “selling yourself,” “making contacts,” and “leveraging relationships.”
And that language feels transactional.
It reduces people to tools for career advancement.
Then there are the events.
Everyone’s exchanging business cards like currency, barely listening because they’re scanning the room for the next person to “connect” with.
It’s no wonder networking gets a bad rap.
For introverts, or anyone who values deeper, more meaningful relationships, this kind of networking feels downright exhausting.
It’s not just that it’s awkward—it feels wrong.
It doesn’t have to be this way.
Networking—true networking—can be about something much more meaningful.
And it starts with redefining what the word means.
Hate Networking? Here’s a New Way to Think About It
Instead of thinking of networking as a transactional exchange, what if we thought about it as relationship-building?
At its core, networking should be about forming connections that are rooted in curiosity, generosity, and trust.
Instead of asking yourself, “What can this person do for me?” try asking, “How can I support this person?”
Or even, “What can I learn from them?”
It’s a shift from taking to giving—and that shift changes everything.
When you approach networking with the mindset of adding value to someone else’s life, you’re no longer just building a contact list.
You’re building relationships.
And maybe we need a new language for it. Instead of “networking,” what if we called it:
“Relationship-building”
“Cultivating connections”
“Fostering community”
Or my personal favorite: “Growing your sphere of trust.”
I like the idea of a sphere because it isn’t two dimensional, like a circle, and I also don’t have to endure “Meet The Parents” references if I say “Circle of Trust.”
When we stop thinking about networking as a quid-pro-quo transaction, it stops feeling sleazy.
Instead, it becomes about people.
How to Turn Networking Into Something You Actually Enjoy
How can you put this into practice?
Here are three simple shifts you can make today to reframe networking:
Focus on Connection, Not Transaction
The next time you meet someone, focus on getting to know them as a person. Ask about their interests, their goals, and what they’re passionate about.
Lead with Generosity
Think about how you can add value to someone else’s life—whether it’s sharing advice, making an introduction, or just being a good listener.
Redefine Success
Instead of measuring success by the number of business cards you collect, measure it by the quality of the conversations you have. Did you leave feeling inspired? Did they?
This Week’s Challenge…
Here’s my challenge to you: The next time you think about networking, pause.
Remind yourself that it’s not about sales pitches or favors—it’s about connection.
It’s about building relationships that matter.
Maybe we’ll never escape the word “networking,” but together, we can reclaim it.
We can give it a new meaning—one that’s rooted in authenticity, generosity, and trust.
If you found this episode helpful, share it with a friend—because let’s face it, we could all use a little help reframing networking.
Until next time, take care, and keep growing your sphere, or circle if you prefer.