TIN #090 - Stoic Networking: How Ancient Philosophy Can Solve Your Networking Problems
How to Apply Stoic Principles to Enhance Your Networking Skills
Greetings Fellow Introverts,
Are you feeling overwhelmed by your networking efforts, or frustrated by unresponsive contacts?
It might be time to incorporate some ancient wisdom into your modern networking practices.
This week, we’re exploring Stoic Networking—a philosophy that helps us focus on what we can control and release anxiety over what we cannot.
This issue takes about 4 minutes to read…
Before We Get Started:
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Overview of Stoicism
Stoicism is an ancient Greek philosophy that was founded in Athens by Zeno of Citium around 300 BCE.
It became very influential in ancient Rome, with practitioners including the famous Emperor Marcus Aurelius, the playwright Seneca, and the slave-turned-philosopher Epictetus.
The central premise of Stoicism is that we can achieve happiness (eudaimonia) by accepting the moment as it presents itself, by not allowing ourselves to be controlled by the desire for pleasure or fear of pain, and by using our minds to understand the world around us and to do our part in nature’s plan.
The Dichotomy of Control
One of the most famous Stoic teachings involves the dichotomy of control:
Understanding what is in our control and what is not.
Stoics believe that recognizing and focusing on what we can control (like our thoughts, behaviors, and reactions) and letting go of what we cannot control (like the behavior of others, or the outcome of most events) leads to peace of mind and resilience.
In networking, many elements are out of our hands, such as other people’s responses and actions.
Stoicism teaches us to shift our focus to what we can influence, such as our outreach efforts and our reactions to any outcomes.
Practical Stoic Networking Strategies
Here are some things you can control when you’re networking:
Mindset Adjustment: Instead of dwelling on non-responses as personal slights, remind yourself that external actions are often out of your control. This shift in perspective can prevent unnecessary worry.
Outreach Frequency and Content: You control the frequency and nature of your messages. If initial, lengthy messages are unreturned, try sending brief, open-ended notes to rekindle old connections.
Be Proactive with Messages: Don’t hesitate to send a friendly follow-up if you haven’t heard back. Sometimes, messages are simply missed amid busy schedules.
Setting Up Meetings: If someone shows interest in meeting, take the initiative to suggest times and places. This displays your eagerness and respect for their time, making it easier for them to say yes.
Offer Help: In your interactions, always look for ways to assist the other person first. This builds goodwill and increases the likelihood of mutual support.
Active Listening: During conversations, focus more on listening than on speaking. This shows genuine interest and can lead to more productive networking.
Why Stoic Networking Works
By applying Stoic principles, you ensure that your networking efforts are sustainable and less stressful.
Control the aspects you can like how many people you contact or how you respond to their replies. Let go of anxieties tied to outcomes you can’t influence.
Just this week, I reached out for the third time to an old contact who had missed my previous messages.
Upon seeing my latest message, they apologized for the oversight and were glad to reconnect.
I could have assumed this person didn’t want to talk to me or was annoyed by my outreach, but instead of focusing on that, I focused on sending the follow up message.
And, lo and behold, it was a simple oversight. I’m now working on setting up an in-person meeting with this person.
This is a prime example of why focusing on what was in my control led me to the best possible outcome.
Final Thoughts: Always Be Connecting (ABC)
Stoic Networking isn't just about making connections—it’s about making meaningful connections without letting the fear of rejection hinder your efforts.
Remember, networking is a number’s game moderated by emotional intelligence, guided by the wisdom of focusing on what we can control.