TIN #068 - I Was A Terrible Networker! Here's How I Got Better At It
And Changed My Mind About Networking Forever
Hey there, fellow introverted networkers!
When I was younger, I thought I was bad at meeting new people.
It wasn’t a strength of mine, so I didn’t do it.
As I got older, I realized it was important to grow your network, but I didn’t know how.
Until I got laid off.
Then I had to figure it out.
In this issue, I want to share a bit about my personal journey and the realization that networking is not what I once thought it was.
This issue takes about 4 minutes to read.
But Before We Get Started…
Each week, I post a new podcast with tips you’ll find in the weekly newsletter and bonus stories, wisdom, and motivation. The Introverted Networker podcast is like the weekly newsletter but with additional narration and thoughts from me. Be sure to listen to this week’s podcast and check out the previous episodes of the podcast as well.
The video version of the podcast is available on my YouTube channel.
My Origin Story
I grew up in a small town in Southern Colorado, where everyone knew each other.
There was one school district and one high school in town.
My parents were teachers and involved in the community.
Everyone seemed to know me. I never had to make an effort to meet new people.
However, when I ventured off to college in Texas, I found myself in a much larger community where nobody knew who I was.
It was a wake-up call.
In college, I met a student who effortlessly introduced himself to everyone in our class.
I couldn't do that.
But, I thought that was the only way to network, and because it didn't work for me, I believed I was bad at it.
As I progressed through my career, I realized networking had been happening in the background, even though I hadn't actively pursued it.
Friends and colleagues had connected me with job opportunities, but I hadn't recognized it as networking.
It wasn't until I was 38 and lost my job that I had to rethink my approach to networking.
I thought about the other times in my career when people I knew had helped me find opportunities. None of these folks were people I met at a networking event.
I hadn’t cold-called any of them.
They were all people who were already in my network.
I started thinking about how I knew all of them.
Most of them were people I had worked with in the past. Some were family and friends.
Instead of going out and trying to meet a bunch of strangers, I started with people I knew. I talked to them. I listened to them. I told them what I was interested in.
As I did this, they introduced me to new people. My network expanded.
And I felt good about it.
By coming up with my own approach, I was able to find a new job in three months.
I also learned I could network if I changed my mind about what networking is and isn’t.
My Networking Approach
Here's a simple five-step approach that has become the foundation of my networking philosophy:
Start with who you know: Begin by reconnecting with people from your past, whether they're former colleagues, friends, or acquaintances. These are low-risk connections.
Connect online: Use social media platforms like LinkedIn to reconnect with them. Online interactions can lay the groundwork for deeper conversations.
Get to in-person conversations: Take your online connections to the next level. Whether through phone calls, Zoom meetings, or face-to-face encounters, these interactions build stronger relationships. Ask questions and listen: Learn about their goals, challenges, and needs. Offer help and support when possible. This reciprocity strengthens connections.
Make it easy to help you: When the time comes, express your needs clearly and concisely. Make it simple for others to assist you by being specific about who you want to meet.
Create a networking habit: Remember, networking takes time. It's not a quick fix, but it's a reliable method for building lasting connections. Start networking before you need it, and don't give up. Be consistent in your efforts, and you'll see results.
If you’ve tried this approach and it worked for you, I’d love to hear your story.
If you're struggling with networking, reach out to me.
I'm here to help you navigate this journey.
Share your questions and challenges in the comments, send me an email, or connect with me on LinkedIn. Let's grow our networks together!
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More Stuff For Introverts…
Fifi Mason helps introverts unlock their quiet powers & amplify their impacts. She’s got a cool quiz on her site to help you identify your introvert type.
Daniel Findlay is a social skills coach who helps introverts gain confidence in social situations. Check out his free 10-minute training video.