Stop overthinking—send this one networking message today
You don’t need the perfect words. A short note is all it takes to re-open the door.
Welcome to issue #161 of The Introverted Networker. This issue is one in a seven-part series called “7 Weeks To Better Networking.” If you want to see where we’re going and where we’ve been, I’ve laid out the entire series for you. If you like this series, share it with a friend.
This issue takes about 6 minutes to read…
Reaching out to someone you haven’t spoken to in years can feel awkward.
You may worry they’ll think you’re bothering them.
But the truth is, a simple message can be the easiest and most effective way to restart your network.
I originally shared this approach 3 years ago in issue #2 of this newsletter.
What still holds true:
A short note to one dormant tie is low risk, easy, and often gets a response.
Most people overthink what to say—keeping it simple works best.
The first re-connection is the spark that leads to more conversations.
What I’d add now:
If you’re hesitant, flip the script: how would you feel if someone reached out to you? Most people are glad to hear from an old colleague or friend.
Another way to re-open a connection is to give first. Consider writing a short LinkedIn recommendation. This triggers a thank you and often leads to a natural conversation.
Even a text message can work. Sometimes the fastest way to reconnect is already sitting in your phone.
This week, let’s revisit the original lesson: how to re-connect with the network you already have.
Published August 6, 2022
Read the original on Substack
In TIN #001, I showed you how to find your dormant ties.
The goal was to create a list of people you already know, but have lost touch with over the years.
Now it's time to re-connect with them.
Sending the first note to someone you want to re-connect with sounds like a small thing.
It doesn't sound like it could make a difference.
Little efforts add up.
In Atomic Habits1, James Clear talks about boiling water to show how small efforts accumulate.
If you add one degree of temperature to a pot of water at 200 degrees Fahrenheit, it's not going to boil.
If you add another degree, it’s also not going to boil.
You add degree after degree of temperature (energy) until you get to 211 degrees. But, at this point, the water is still not boiling.
If you add one more degree and the temperature reaches 212 degrees, the water boils.
There is nothing special about that last degree of energy.
It was all the other energy, added together, that raised the temperature to a boiling point.
For your network to grow, you need to add the first re-connection.
This re-connection may not be the source of some life-changing opportunity. But, you must start with your first re-connection.
Without the first re-connection, you don't get a second connection.
Without the second connection, you don't make a third connection.
As you re-connect, many of your existing re-connections will intersect. People you never expected will know each other.
The impact of the effort seems low. It's the accumulation of the notes and messages that turn into a huge opportunity.
I tell my students once they have a list of dormant ties, the next step is to send a simple message via email or LinkedIn.
How to bring your network back to life:
Most people overthink this.
Don't.
Keep it simple.
Find the list of dormant ties you made after you read TIN #001
Go to LinkedIn
Look at the list of people you know, search for them on LinkedIn, and send them a message to connect with them
If they’re not on LinkedIn, skip them and come back to them later, but try to search for most of the people on your list.
Remember, you’re not cold messaging these people.
These are people who already know you.
Send them a quick message.
Nothing formal. Something like this:
"Hey, it's been a while since we were in touch. How are things going?"
If you want to add more, you can tell them what you've been doing lately:
"After we worked together at a Y company, I went to work at Z company and have been there for a few years."
This is all you need to do.
DO NOT:
Ask them for a job
Ask them for a referral
Ask them for anything at all
Sometimes, your dormant ties won't respond for weeks or even months.
Don't get discouraged.
People are busy.
They have a lot of things going on.
Ask yourself, "Have I ever let an email sit in my inbox for awhile before responding?"
In most cases, you’ll get a response.
What then?
Your goal is to turn the email or LinkedIn message into a face-to-face or voice-to-voice conversation.
Remember, you’re trying to grow a deep professional relationship.
To do this, you need to actually talk to the other person.
Sending this message is the first step.
This week, spend time sending messages to the people on your list of dormant ties.
If you get through your list, great job! That’s all you need to do for now. Celebrate the growth of your network.
If you feel like you want to do more, work on identifying more dormant ties and sending more messages.
You’ll need to sow a lot of seeds to grow your network.
These re-connections are those seeds.
In the next issue, we'll talk about how to turn these re-connections into conversations with your dormant tie and what to say during the conversations.
1 - James Clear, Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones (New York: Penguin Random House, LLC, 2018)
How To Put This Into Action?
Do this today:
Take five minutes, open your phone, and send one short message to one of the dormant ties you wrote down from the first week of this series.
It can be a message on LinkedIn, email, or text.
That’s it. One note to one person.
Avoid this pitfall:
Don’t lead with an ask. No jobs, no favors. Just reconnect.
Inside The Connection Lab Community, members share their outreach wins and help each other push past the fear of “bothering” people.
When one person tries it and reports back, it encourages others to take the same step. That shared accountability makes it easier and more fun.
👉 The newsletter is where you learn.
👉 The community is where you practice.
If you want to put this lesson into action with support and accountability, Join The Connection Lab Community.
In the next issue, we’ll talk about how to turn these re-connections into conversations with your dormant tie and what to say once you’re talking.
7 Weeks To Better Networking Series Extras:
Get Your Personalized 5-Step Networking Plan. It’s a comprehensive toolkit that combines years of content from my book, this newsletter, my course, and all my LinkedIn posts with user-friendly resources.
My online course, “5 Steps To Grow Your Professional Network,” will teach you the process I use everyday to grow my professional network.
As always, I have lots more networking advice on The Introverted Networker YouTube channel.
Best Things I Found Online This Week:
Richard van der Blom shares Tips & Insights for Job Seekers in his Content & Algorithm Playbook for LinkedIn. How to use the “Open To Work” banner on LinkedIn correctly.