The Hidden Part of Networking No One Talks About
Networking doesn’t start with a conversation. It starts with what you do before and between them.
Welcome to issue #167 of The Introverted Networker.
This week’s issue is about the hidden work of networking. The things that happen between conversations that keep your Connection Loop moving and put you in control of your networking.
This issue takes about 4 minutes to read…
The Introverted Networker Extras:
Get Your Personalized 5-Step Networking Plan. It’s a comprehensive toolkit that combines years of content from my book, this newsletter, my course, and all my LinkedIn posts with user-friendly resources.
My online course, “5 Steps To Grow Your Professional Network,” will teach you the process I use everyday to grow my professional network.
Don’t Forget! 7 Weeks To Better Networking is always available to help you when you get stuck.
As always, I have lots more networking advice on The Introverted Networker YouTube channel.
The Hidden Part of Networking No One Talks About
For the past seven weeks, I’ve been breaking down the Connection Loop.
It’s my simple, repeatable system for building professional relationships without awkward events or endless small talk.
But today I want to talk about the part of networking most people never think about.
It’s not the conversation itself.
It’s everything that happens around the conversation.
Before it, between it, and after it.
That’s the hidden part.
And it’s what makes the whole process work.
Because networking isn’t just about who you talk to.
It’s about how you prepare, reflect, and stay consistent, so that when opportunities appear, you’re already ready.
Here’s how to work on your networking when you’re not actually networking.
1. Build Your Base (Start with Who You Know)
The easiest way to get unstuck is to stop overthinking where to start.
You already know dozens, if not hundreds, of people.
The problem isn’t who to reach out to.
It’s that you’ve never made the list.
Go through your contacts, LinkedIn connections, or old email threads.
Write down the people you’ve lost touch with but would enjoy talking to again.
This isn’t busywork.
It’s the foundation of your loop, and the more intentional you are here, the easier the next steps become.
Write down at least five people you’d like to reconnect with this month.
2. Warm Up the Loop (While You Wait)
When you reach out to someone, they won’t always respond right away.
That doesn’t mean your networking has stalled. It means you have space to work on your networking instead of in it.
While you’re waiting:
Add new names to your list.
Tweak your message so it feels natural to send.
Look for shared updates or interests that give you a reason to follow up later.
Most people treat waiting as wasted time.
But it’s actually the perfect time to prepare, organize, and keep your loop moving.
3. Prepare to Listen and Give
A great conversation doesn’t happen by accident.
It happens because you show up ready.
Before each conversation, spend five minutes thinking about:
Questions you can ask. (“What’s been the most exciting thing in your life lately?”)
Things you can share. A story, article, or podcast that connects to their world.
Ways you can give value. An introduction, encouragement, or simple idea.
You don’t need a script. Just curiosity and a little prep.
The better your questions, the more meaningful the conversation will feel.
This is the kind of preparation that makes you confident walking into any conversation because you’ve already thought about how to listen and what to offer.
4. Get Specific About How Others Can Help
This is the step that separates “nice conversation” from “real momentum.”
Someone says, “How can I help you?”
And you say, “I’m not sure right now.”
And just like that, the connection stalls.
Use your in-between time to get clear on what you want people to know about you and how they can help:
Who do you want to meet?
What kind of opportunities are you looking for?
What words or phrases should people associate with you?
If you’re job hunting, create a target company list, which is the specific organizations you want to learn more about.
If you’re running a business, list the kinds of clients or challenges you solve.
Being specific isn’t pushy.
It’s generous.
You’re making it easy for others to do what they already want to do: help you.
5. Keep the Loop Alive
The Connection Loop isn’t something you finish.
It’s something you keep going.
When you treat these “in-between” moments as part of the process, networking stops feeling random.
You start to see it as something you run, not something that runs you.
Networking is made up of tiny moments between the conversations.
That’s where the real work, and the real progress, happens.
So while you’re waiting for that next reply or getting ready for your next call, ask yourself:
“What can I do right now to make my next connection easier?”
That’s the hidden part of networking no one talks about, and the part that makes every other step work better.
If this helped you see networking in a new light, forward it to a friend or coworker who wants to grow their network without going to awkward events.
Best Things I Found Online This Week:
Jeff Su had a great post and carousel about how to reach out to college alumni if you are looking for that first job out of college. Hint: Don’t call them a$$#oles!