I Was Scared of Networking—Now I Teach It. Here’s What Changed
How I Went from Awkward to Confident: My Networking Transformation
Welcome to issue #157 of The Introverted Networker. Each week, I share my best networking advice to change the way you feel about networking. If you like this issue, share it with a friend.
This issue takes about 3 minutes to read…
Most of us were never taught how to network
Not in school.
Not in our first job.
Not when we needed it most.
If anything, we were told to go to “networking events.”
A phrase that immediately brings up images of:
Awkward small talk,
Forced smiles,
Wondering when it’s okay to leave.
For years, that’s how I felt too.
I wasn’t confident.
I didn’t think I had the personality for it.
I figured networking was for salespeople or extroverts.
Not someone like me.
So I avoided it.
And for a while, I got by on hard work.
But eventually, when I hit a moment where I needed help — when I got laid off — I realized something had to change.
I had to figure out a new way to move forward.
I had to figure out how to connect with people.
That’s when everything shifted.
My First Networking Win
When I started my job search after the layoff, I reached out to a few people I had worked with in the past.
People I hadn’t talked to in a while.
Today, I call these “dormant ties,” but at the time they were the lowest risk connections I had.
Since they knew who I was they didn’t hesitate to respond.
They were happy to help.
They gave me advice, encouragement, even introductions.
I didn’t have to cold call anyone.
I didn’t have to go to events.
I didn’t have to pretend to be someone I wasn’t.
And eventually, through those conversations and connections, I landed a new job.
It hit me afterward: I got that job through networking.
And if I could do that, maybe I could become a networker.
What I Got Wrong About Networking
The biggest misconception I had (and most people have) is that networking means going to events.
It doesn’t.
In fact, most of the time, it shouldn’t.
The real skill of networking isn’t pitching or performing.
It’s listening, giving, and being intentional about reconnecting with people you already know.
It’s:
Starting with low-risk conversations with old colleagues or friends
Being willing to offer help or make introductions
Staying curious about what other people are working on
None of those things require you to be extroverted.
They just require a plan and a willingness to try.
From Awkward to Confident
I used to feel scared to network.
Awkward. Out of place.
Now I teach it every day.
Not because I love “networking,” but because I found a way to do it that works for me.
A method that feels natural, comfortable, and effective.
A process that has created incredible personal and professional opportunities.
And now I teach that process to others, especially people like me who never saw themselves as networkers.
Want to Learn How?
In August, I’m launching a new membership community designed to help you become a confident networker — no events required.
You’ll get:
Hands-on coaching with me
Live conversations and practical exercises
A system you can follow on your own networking plan.
This is for the person who’s always said:
“I know I should network, but…”
If that’s you, join the first group of early adopters and get special launch pricing. Prices will increase after August 22nd, 2025!
👉 Join The Connection Lab Community
One Last Thought
If you don’t feel confident networking, it’s not your fault.
You were never taught how.
But you can learn.
And once you do, you won’t just get more opportunities, you’ll feel more connected, more supported, and more in control of your career.
It worked for me.
I know it can work for you too.
Before You Go…
Each week, I post a new podcast with tips you’ll find in the weekly newsletter and bonus stories, wisdom, and motivation. The Introverted Networker podcast is like the weekly newsletter but with additional narration and thoughts from me. Be sure to listen to this week’s podcast and check out the previous episodes of the podcast for more networking tips and insights.
The video version of the newsletter is available on my YouTube channel.